It’s such a pleasure to read and to listen to what you have to say -musically and with words- And so much of it is relatable to me as someone who’s dealt and is still dealing with all kinds of anxieties, though not completely the same as yours. Lacking any musical talent meant I was always looking for music that could comfort me and lift my mind- music as escapism.
I wonder if and how do you decide if you want to listen to a piece of music that confronts your anxiety or one that helps you to escape it? Is it depending on your mood?
Listening to Scelsi I get what you mean: it sounds dissonant and harmonic at the same time and it is giving a feeling of time dilation- as well as your song “Atmosphere”.
“Showing the rigidity of the universe the middle finger” made me smile, though personally I think not the universe is rigid but rather we humans are. While especially music seems to be the only free and non-rigid non-restricted universal language that everyone can agree to and find their own personal space in it.
Sorry for the many words, blame yourself, you’re too inspirational😬sending you tons of love🫶
That's a good point Bea, it is us who are rigid. I remember St Vincent saying once that she told an anxious fan that they'll never be safe, so they should let go. I suppose she's right, although it's not what I want to hear! When I feel inspired and braveI want to be challenged. But I have quieter moments where I want to lean into escapism. Both are valid, and that's the beauty of music.
Yes, music is really a cure for everything, calming us when we need to leave the world behind us for a while and giving us strength when we return to it.
Well, St. Vincent wouldn’t be the therapist of my choice😄; anxiety is an irrational thing and being told you will never be safe anyway, so just let go, just doesn’t work for me.
That's so true Anna and Bea Thana, I couldn't live without music in my life, I suffer from Anxiety too, I think I've had it all my life, music and my art is my escape and when I feel down or even when I'm happy enough, dealing with disabilities has been very challenging, there was a time when I was so despondent with the medical profession as to why I was having everything happen to me at a lot of the time at once. I wanted to disappear away from it all and I would put my earphones on and just let the music carry me, I love many artists but some artists are my favourite all the time, like you Anna and Patti Smith, Morrissey and I've been a hug huge fan of Elvis Presley since I was a little girl around 6 yrs old,my Mam would play him a lot so probably when I outgrew childrens songs it was Elvis and I still love him as I've always loved him.
I also love many bands too, 50's and 60's music, again my Mams influence.
I still struggle, can hardly walk and I have to be in a wheelchair at hospital or doctors but Iade peace with it a long while ago, it's happened, happening and I can't change that, music and art save me every single day.
So sorry I do waffle on !!!
Anna you once sent me a lovely message to keep doing my art and I still am, thank you for all your wonderful music, you are so talented, I look forward to hearing new music much love, always xxxxx
Probably this tension is heardable from the very first songs you wrote ... thanks for sharing those thoughts, it's such a joy to have the opportunity to understand what brings you to write music.
I dont know if that could be of your interest, anyway I can tell you that when I listen to your music i just feel that I am in the right place, whenever i am ... so at least for me you have created a place where "i'm happy to exist" and I can only thank you for letting this happen 😊
It's truly lovely to hear this, thank you. That's exactly how I feel when I'm creative-I feel like I'm in the right place, and it's such a freeing feeling.
Sharing deeply private feelings, insecurities, anxiety, torment, fears and doubts is a brave thing to do - and makes you stronger in the end. Not everyone is capable of doing this, so thank you for showing us the way and for telling us what kind of music brings you solace.
Have you tried listening to Sufi music? The soft, meditative sound of the ney is said to be created by God's breath and helps regulating your own breathing, providing you with calm and serenity.
Another suggestion could be Johann Johannsson's work. It's exquisite in its simplicity.
This music truly has something from the beginning of the universe, before time itself, something very primal, suspended between chaos and order. I'm glad you've created this new place to share all this with us – thank you. It's a pleasure to be here and read and listen to your content, as well as all the comments from those who love your work. Anxiety probably accompanies us all to varying degrees, although I only recently learned what it truly is when it happened to a close family member. Music is a wonderful way to tame it, just like the contact with nature we've so deprived ourselves of.
I don't have any smart questions at the moment, so I'm just sending you a big hug❤️
“This music truly has something from the beginning of the universe, before time itself, something very primal, suspended between chaos and order”- I love this! Though there is no sound in the universe but who’s to say that music wasn’t there before anything else? Like the sound of nature, crushing waves, howling storms- this special primal music.
Thank you ❤️. I also thought about this primal nature and the suspension between chaos and order when I was listening to Björk's latest album, "Fossora." It's obviously a completely different kind of work than the "static music" genre, but for me it also contains an incredible return to the beginning of music, as if some universe had shrunk back to its core. I've also been thinking a lot about how such music is released into the world and where the line is drawn between what an artist wants to share and what is too "inbred" to share. I'm very curious to see what your new music will bring.
It's been lovely to listen to this new music ! Funnily enough, I thought the piece you shared, Catharsis, quite anxiety inducing ! Yours however, were both quite soothing and elevating, you conveyed the feeling particularly well. I love when music challenges more senses than just hearing. Rarely, but some precious times, I can feel it moving around inside and around me. One time it happened recently was with Ethel Cain's Housofpsychoticwomn. I haven't listened to it since, both because the feeling was very challenging and because part of me wants to keep this strange experience intact ! Though very different pieces, Catharsis kind of gave me a similar feel.
The beauty and delicacy of your words, and the grace of the songs you’ve shared, move me deeply and take me back to my own adolescence… a time when, among other things, I was obsessed with Gregg Araki’s films and soundtracks…
As you say it captures the wonder the excitement confusion and fear of being a teenager .. but mainly the wonder ..”I was beautiful with all my lights Loomed so large on the horizon , people thought my windows were star “
I love it. Sometimes we feel trapped in a being, like someone who wakes up after an accident... isolated within it with bruised emotions, broken feelings, that produce pain, sadness, melancholy... difficult to describe. Perhaps Kafka or Virginia Woolf did it in their own way, trying to express that feeling of uncertainty. The difficult thing is to live in the abstract, in that atmosphere of being between the ego and the id, like a sky overlooking infinity.
Music has a wonderful resource that words can't reach, something closer to the painting of Bacon or Pollock... being in that dilemma, a vital anguish of being without knowing how to exist, like through a mirror, without crossing the glass.
Talking about the stilness of time, You made me think about a poem that I love by Eugenio Montale Limoni (and all his poetry trying to pierce this veil. If anyone is interested here yiu can find the Italian and English version with commentary ( it might resonate at a different level..yet..) https://paralleltexts.blog/2017/11/01/i-limonithe-lemon-trees-by-eugenio-montale/
Of course, it's a search. Some examples of metamusic, I think, the most promising are those of Alva Noto, Fennesz, and David Sylvian (friends and collaborators of Sakamoto's maestro).
Harold Budd and Brian Eno explored certain zones of silence in motion.
And in string music, I think Arvo Part and Valentin Silvestrov (his Fifth Symphony is a marvel) are always inspiring.
There's no doubt that your talent can open inward to explore the naked interior of the Universe within each of us.
Thank you, yes I was thinking about Brian Eno, he definitely inhabits that world. I love Arvo part. These days classical music transports me further than any other music
Thank you for sharing, your music choices today have left me with an unexpected warm feeling inside, now I am in the middle of a heatwave or at least what we call a heatwave in Ireland, but joking aside I love where your music brings me, I seem to always end discovering and exploring new music as I explore your influences. Fills my soul and leaves me wanting to create. I am really enjoying these posts.
I'm enjoying writing them! I like being able to go deeper than I'm ever allowed to in ordinary life- it's not what you'd talk about in an interview, or at a party either! But I've always felt deeply the intelligence and creativity of my audience, so it feels right to share here. Sending you love from London!
It’s such a pleasure to read and to listen to what you have to say -musically and with words- And so much of it is relatable to me as someone who’s dealt and is still dealing with all kinds of anxieties, though not completely the same as yours. Lacking any musical talent meant I was always looking for music that could comfort me and lift my mind- music as escapism.
I wonder if and how do you decide if you want to listen to a piece of music that confronts your anxiety or one that helps you to escape it? Is it depending on your mood?
Listening to Scelsi I get what you mean: it sounds dissonant and harmonic at the same time and it is giving a feeling of time dilation- as well as your song “Atmosphere”.
“Showing the rigidity of the universe the middle finger” made me smile, though personally I think not the universe is rigid but rather we humans are. While especially music seems to be the only free and non-rigid non-restricted universal language that everyone can agree to and find their own personal space in it.
Sorry for the many words, blame yourself, you’re too inspirational😬sending you tons of love🫶
That's a good point Bea, it is us who are rigid. I remember St Vincent saying once that she told an anxious fan that they'll never be safe, so they should let go. I suppose she's right, although it's not what I want to hear! When I feel inspired and braveI want to be challenged. But I have quieter moments where I want to lean into escapism. Both are valid, and that's the beauty of music.
Yes, music is really a cure for everything, calming us when we need to leave the world behind us for a while and giving us strength when we return to it.
Well, St. Vincent wouldn’t be the therapist of my choice😄; anxiety is an irrational thing and being told you will never be safe anyway, so just let go, just doesn’t work for me.
Maybe that's why she's not a therapist but a hooligan (sweet and tender😉).
That's so true Anna and Bea Thana, I couldn't live without music in my life, I suffer from Anxiety too, I think I've had it all my life, music and my art is my escape and when I feel down or even when I'm happy enough, dealing with disabilities has been very challenging, there was a time when I was so despondent with the medical profession as to why I was having everything happen to me at a lot of the time at once. I wanted to disappear away from it all and I would put my earphones on and just let the music carry me, I love many artists but some artists are my favourite all the time, like you Anna and Patti Smith, Morrissey and I've been a hug huge fan of Elvis Presley since I was a little girl around 6 yrs old,my Mam would play him a lot so probably when I outgrew childrens songs it was Elvis and I still love him as I've always loved him.
I also love many bands too, 50's and 60's music, again my Mams influence.
I still struggle, can hardly walk and I have to be in a wheelchair at hospital or doctors but Iade peace with it a long while ago, it's happened, happening and I can't change that, music and art save me every single day.
So sorry I do waffle on !!!
Anna you once sent me a lovely message to keep doing my art and I still am, thank you for all your wonderful music, you are so talented, I look forward to hearing new music much love, always xxxxx
Probably this tension is heardable from the very first songs you wrote ... thanks for sharing those thoughts, it's such a joy to have the opportunity to understand what brings you to write music.
I dont know if that could be of your interest, anyway I can tell you that when I listen to your music i just feel that I am in the right place, whenever i am ... so at least for me you have created a place where "i'm happy to exist" and I can only thank you for letting this happen 😊
Longing to read and listen to the next charter!
It's truly lovely to hear this, thank you. That's exactly how I feel when I'm creative-I feel like I'm in the right place, and it's such a freeing feeling.
Sharing deeply private feelings, insecurities, anxiety, torment, fears and doubts is a brave thing to do - and makes you stronger in the end. Not everyone is capable of doing this, so thank you for showing us the way and for telling us what kind of music brings you solace.
Have you tried listening to Sufi music? The soft, meditative sound of the ney is said to be created by God's breath and helps regulating your own breathing, providing you with calm and serenity.
Another suggestion could be Johann Johannsson's work. It's exquisite in its simplicity.
Warm greetings x
I have listened to Sufi music, yes you're right it's transformative. I haven't heard of Johann Johannsson but I am intrigued x
Happy to hear you're interested in discovering Johann Johannsson's music. I recommend the album "Orphée" to get started. Enjoy, and much love x
This music truly has something from the beginning of the universe, before time itself, something very primal, suspended between chaos and order. I'm glad you've created this new place to share all this with us – thank you. It's a pleasure to be here and read and listen to your content, as well as all the comments from those who love your work. Anxiety probably accompanies us all to varying degrees, although I only recently learned what it truly is when it happened to a close family member. Music is a wonderful way to tame it, just like the contact with nature we've so deprived ourselves of.
I don't have any smart questions at the moment, so I'm just sending you a big hug❤️
“This music truly has something from the beginning of the universe, before time itself, something very primal, suspended between chaos and order”- I love this! Though there is no sound in the universe but who’s to say that music wasn’t there before anything else? Like the sound of nature, crushing waves, howling storms- this special primal music.
Thank you, Bea. That's what I think... After all, perhaps the basic building block of matter is a string, as one theory suggests😉
I agree, what a beautiful sentence Dora. It actually sums up a lot of the thought behind the new music I've been writing
Thank you ❤️. I also thought about this primal nature and the suspension between chaos and order when I was listening to Björk's latest album, "Fossora." It's obviously a completely different kind of work than the "static music" genre, but for me it also contains an incredible return to the beginning of music, as if some universe had shrunk back to its core. I've also been thinking a lot about how such music is released into the world and where the line is drawn between what an artist wants to share and what is too "inbred" to share. I'm very curious to see what your new music will bring.
It's been lovely to listen to this new music ! Funnily enough, I thought the piece you shared, Catharsis, quite anxiety inducing ! Yours however, were both quite soothing and elevating, you conveyed the feeling particularly well. I love when music challenges more senses than just hearing. Rarely, but some precious times, I can feel it moving around inside and around me. One time it happened recently was with Ethel Cain's Housofpsychoticwomn. I haven't listened to it since, both because the feeling was very challenging and because part of me wants to keep this strange experience intact ! Though very different pieces, Catharsis kind of gave me a similar feel.
Looking forward to the next chapter ! xx 🖤
Thank you for this post, Anna.
The beauty and delicacy of your words, and the grace of the songs you’ve shared, move me deeply and take me back to my own adolescence… a time when, among other things, I was obsessed with Gregg Araki’s films and soundtracks…
Avalyn II from Slowdive
https://youtu.be/7MyKqn2WiOA?si=bbn11SIl1Me9joHD
Oh I love Gregg Araki! I remember being really obsessed with Mysterious Skin. This Slowdive piece is amazing
Che meraviglia
As you say it captures the wonder the excitement confusion and fear of being a teenager .. but mainly the wonder ..”I was beautiful with all my lights Loomed so large on the horizon , people thought my windows were star “
I love it. Sometimes we feel trapped in a being, like someone who wakes up after an accident... isolated within it with bruised emotions, broken feelings, that produce pain, sadness, melancholy... difficult to describe. Perhaps Kafka or Virginia Woolf did it in their own way, trying to express that feeling of uncertainty. The difficult thing is to live in the abstract, in that atmosphere of being between the ego and the id, like a sky overlooking infinity.
Music has a wonderful resource that words can't reach, something closer to the painting of Bacon or Pollock... being in that dilemma, a vital anguish of being without knowing how to exist, like through a mirror, without crossing the glass.
Talking about the stilness of time, You made me think about a poem that I love by Eugenio Montale Limoni (and all his poetry trying to pierce this veil. If anyone is interested here yiu can find the Italian and English version with commentary ( it might resonate at a different level..yet..) https://paralleltexts.blog/2017/11/01/i-limonithe-lemon-trees-by-eugenio-montale/
Of course, it's a search. Some examples of metamusic, I think, the most promising are those of Alva Noto, Fennesz, and David Sylvian (friends and collaborators of Sakamoto's maestro).
Harold Budd and Brian Eno explored certain zones of silence in motion.
And in string music, I think Arvo Part and Valentin Silvestrov (his Fifth Symphony is a marvel) are always inspiring.
There's no doubt that your talent can open inward to explore the naked interior of the Universe within each of us.
Thank you, yes I was thinking about Brian Eno, he definitely inhabits that world. I love Arvo part. These days classical music transports me further than any other music
Thank you for sharing, your music choices today have left me with an unexpected warm feeling inside, now I am in the middle of a heatwave or at least what we call a heatwave in Ireland, but joking aside I love where your music brings me, I seem to always end discovering and exploring new music as I explore your influences. Fills my soul and leaves me wanting to create. I am really enjoying these posts.
I'm enjoying writing them! I like being able to go deeper than I'm ever allowed to in ordinary life- it's not what you'd talk about in an interview, or at a party either! But I've always felt deeply the intelligence and creativity of my audience, so it feels right to share here. Sending you love from London!